The ego is a great source of stress. This one aspect of the human being has wreaked untold horror and misery on the planet for countless generations. From a sufic point of view, nafs, (what we call the ego), is the sole obstacle in one’s struggle in life to become more connected. Nafs/ego is the thing that is in our way, in every and all cases, with absolutely no exception. Which is why the majority of sufi tales address surrendering and getting out of the way by proclaiming that it is “YOU, who are the problem.” When there is no more you, then “you will know your Lord.” Presuming you have that desire to know Reality as it is without preconceptions, to seek what lies behind the veil of the world, then this is what you have to do; disappear.
That is great and all, but actually following this wisdom means butting up against everyday normative issues. This confrontation is less about whether or not you are good person than it is about than the quality of your connection. A deeply spiritual person is concerned with their interaction with the Divine and how well that relationship becomes expressed in the world even though this expression really is just shadow of the real intimacy. People in the world expect certain things, but the Divine Being’s expectations may run counter to that, and it is crucial to act with that relationship in mind. Is your behavior resonant to your spiritual values? You think so? Ok, so whats the course of action when one’s friend is needy beyond belief? Or, a person you work with complains endlessly to the point of nausea? How do you handle paying bills, getting a driving ticket, and yelled at by a neighbor - all in the same day? What does one do if one’s teenage kid gets pregnant and kicked out of school? These and any other myriad examples demand specific and measured responses. What good is your spiritual path if you can not handle everyday life?
Essentially there are three “external” sources of wisdom for the spiritual seeker to access: A revealed text; stories or talks by accepted masters from the tradition; direct advice from a living guide. In the Sufi tradition these would be the Quran and Hadith, sufi stories, and one to one interaction with a living Sufi teacher. In other traditions such as Buddhism, Taoism, or Western Occult there are similar resources, they may present themselves slightly differently, but these basic delineations would more or less stand through out other these paths as well.
Speaking from a modern perspective, with the possible exception of a live guide, these available options have certain baggage because of their ‘exotic’ and / or removed nature of their content. Contemporaneously removed in the sense that the time, place and context in which this knowledge is expressed is different than what most people today identify. It is challenging for contemporary seekers to find rapport with stories that stretch out from so many centuries ago. Farmers, fisherman and itinerant wanderers of so years ago no longer exist, but, instead we have flesh and blood people locked into office compartments trying to find meaning in ever increasing existentially vapid circumstances.
Of course, a lot of people enjoy the escapism available when diving into an old tale or revealed text. It is the mark of an evolving spiritually mature person who can ‘escape this escapism’ and effectively procure modern relevant meaning from the Quran, Bhagavad-Gita, or a Zen Koan. All seekers must tread the path that leads from mere stories to living traditions carrying full spiritual import into modern life. It does not matter if it was the curious scent of the incense which drew you into the path, if one found what has not been lost, then what ever form the call came in of itself is not really that important. Staying with the Beloved for the Beloved’s sake is the only right reason to continue.
Staying with the Beloved for the Beloved’s sake under any circumstances leads both to immense troubles as well as to the salve that soothes all illnesses, both real and emotional. Spiritual afflictions arise which can not be imagined until endured, but in the poison lies cure as they say. Sticking with this goal one gradually becomes familiar with all of the attributes that the One can contain, both terrible and beautiful. This staying true is what leads to knowing how to put into real modern action the stories of old told to seekers for hundreds of years. Stories of wandering fools really only make true sense once one has fully digested what it means to be spiritually alive and vulnerable. It does not happen after reading a few books or a retreat or two. The modern frenzy of work-shopping spiritual experiences in the marketplace completely fails here because there is no one way to squeeze these teachings into a marketable product. A truly profound spiritual awakening transcends these limits, it can not be poured into a few hours time like some other cheap offering. It defies the spectacle.
So, when you, the caged bird, knocks on the inside of your cage in the dearest hope of finding out who made this house for you, and you only discover that you know absolutely nothing. Your knocking only reveals your inability to know truly anything. But to cross that space from not being able to interact sensibly with your contemporary surroundings to being able to express true spiritual wisdom one must undoubtedly keep knocking on that door. If you stop knocking on your Beloved’s door, than truly, you will never have an answer of what your purpose is in this modern life, here, now and today.
What does it really mean in a contemporary sense to “knock on the door of the Beloved?” Traditional wisdom refers us back to revealed texts, and the given answer is to establish prayer - real prayer. Whether that is a silent inward meditation or a kind of verbalized expression of devotion depends on one’s needs and personal approach. This topic is very big, as there are many connotations and difficulties that must be addressed before modern, often agnostic, people can accept, process and put true prayer into action. To address this dichotomy, this modern conflict with ancient sensibilities, it is necessary to re-examine what true prayer really is, and to redefine it in an manner that suits modern life.
There are inner and outer aspects to prayer. Outwardly one’s accepted spiritual discipline defines how the prayer might appear from a material point of view. Understandably some people have difficulties in recognizing the need for physical forms of prayer, they would rather just skip all of that and attend directly to the inner life of devotion. The importance in the outer aspect of prayer is that it is an extremely developed language and to not avail yourself of that time tested dialogue means that many people begin by struggling with rudimentary details that the spiritually mature have settled eons ago. Often in the rush to fight to be individuals we ignore the thousands of years of wisdom and work people have done just to go about doing something our own way. Wayfarers starting out often do not realize this and give short shrift to traditional manners of devotion, not understanding until much later the significance of established methods. While this reticence is understandable, it is to be stressed that it is worth while to struggle with these outwards expressions of piety.
With that caveat in place, those who chose one of the Abrahamic spiritual paths as their own often find ways to make the tradition fit into their lives if they have not already been born into that system. Many already have complex thoughts in place from observing others praying in one fashion or another, whether it was a family member, community or a trusted friend. Those whose ventured into other traditions have other dynamics to consider, but it is hoped that many might resonate with the following ideas.
All true prayer seeks to align the outer with the inner experience. At great cost of human lives have the many true wanders ventured out into the wilderness of sincere devotion to bring back the knowledge that only a focused, healthy and sound heart is needed in one’s relation with the Beloved. It is not a mere colloquialism that the heart is king. Without one human existence is less than nothing.
It is this unique nature of the human heart which allows for all the varieties of religious or spiritual experience, it is what makes it possible. Even a superficial study of human activity throughout history will reveal the myriad decisions people made using virtually only their heart. Certainly outside influences rendered each action necessary and individual, but the heart made possible - without it’s insistence millions of people would have endured misery beyond belief. Why did the Israelites set out across the sands of Egypt? Why do explorers roam the seas? Why do scientists endure struggles to find new discoveries? Why did Picasso paint the way he did? Examples are infinite and in every case the heart is the motivator for each person and situation.
The heart is the location where anything of any importance occurs. It is the church, the temple, the mosque, tavern or auditorium where the secret inner language is spoken. Love occurs here. Art is created here.. Hope is found and the Beloved is approached. The inward voice is heard and makes itself known in this location. Anger, frustration, resentment, surprise and ennui come inside the heart, like vassals unto the court of the king to plead their case and get their problems resolved. Secrets are told here and kept until their time is ripe. To let this palace that is the heart fall into disrepair is to lose touch with what make one unique, to discard that which will keep you sane and full of life.
So keep this heart clean and bring all of one’s problems and worries into this place and put them before the King to be judged within one’s very own being. Judging one’s inner faculties must be learned in a mature manner, as it is crucial to know how the personal psychic elements balance against each other. For some people, the conventions of community, family or genetics have predisposed them to not fully trust or hear their heart’s urgings. This important task can not be left undone, as each one of us has to grow to trust our hearts. It is accomplished by cleaning it from the inner voices that claim to be the heart when in fact they are not the whisperings of one’s inner chamber. Rather many of our internal dialogue is our ego, our nafs.
Recognizing the difference between the nafs/ego and the heart is a big step towards having a living heart and becoming whole. One has learn how to differentiate. If this does not happen, then there is no humanity there, only urges and desires. This person is the worst of the worst because everything within, such as the thoughts and feelings, are acting for the sole purpose of superficially pleasing the ego. This is not human, this is robotic behavior; reflexively racing from one desire to another. Note that desires in of themselves are irrelevant, being bound to them is the real problem as this restricts the voice of the heart.
The heart isn’t a true heart if it is pointed in the wrong direction. It must have a goal, a place where it is facing. It must be like a flower in the sun, with its face turned to the One Light that has the only Real Meaning. In Sufi parlance this is known as the Realization and Affirmation of Oneness, or more simply, Tawhid. In so called mystical terms it is understood as the knowledge of the Unity of Being. The heart knows this for real, otherwise it is no real heart at all. We can say this because there is nothing else to attend to, there is ‘no other thing’ at all. So, the heart is facing Unity and knows that as its only experience, the only object that can guide the heart in the truest sense.
Knock on the door of the Beloved by bringing your inner urgings into the kingdom of the heart to weigh on the balance of judgment. Let it bask in the Light of Light so that your inner self is purified of everything but that Light Itself. Only in this way does the wandering seeker find true solace in the wasteland of multiplicity. Stay with the Beloved in this way and wait, and continue to wait at this throne for the promptings of the heart to arise at the breaking of the dawn time Sun upon the ground of the inner being. Only by giving up the endless courtiers of one’s internal dialogue to this heart, this King, will one ever find the true Beloved.
This is the path to resolving outer problems of everyday life: bring the psychic and emotive whisperings into the heart and allow the Light of the One reveal them for their true reality. "You" disappear after you allow these internal elements time to bask in this environment and naturally soften like decomposing vegetation. These resolved dialogues nourish the inner ground by giving the heart and spirit new insight into its relationship to the world at large. This is the nature of true and real prayer and why the heart really is King.
That is great and all, but actually following this wisdom means butting up against everyday normative issues. This confrontation is less about whether or not you are good person than it is about than the quality of your connection. A deeply spiritual person is concerned with their interaction with the Divine and how well that relationship becomes expressed in the world even though this expression really is just shadow of the real intimacy. People in the world expect certain things, but the Divine Being’s expectations may run counter to that, and it is crucial to act with that relationship in mind. Is your behavior resonant to your spiritual values? You think so? Ok, so whats the course of action when one’s friend is needy beyond belief? Or, a person you work with complains endlessly to the point of nausea? How do you handle paying bills, getting a driving ticket, and yelled at by a neighbor - all in the same day? What does one do if one’s teenage kid gets pregnant and kicked out of school? These and any other myriad examples demand specific and measured responses. What good is your spiritual path if you can not handle everyday life?
Essentially there are three “external” sources of wisdom for the spiritual seeker to access: A revealed text; stories or talks by accepted masters from the tradition; direct advice from a living guide. In the Sufi tradition these would be the Quran and Hadith, sufi stories, and one to one interaction with a living Sufi teacher. In other traditions such as Buddhism, Taoism, or Western Occult there are similar resources, they may present themselves slightly differently, but these basic delineations would more or less stand through out other these paths as well.
Speaking from a modern perspective, with the possible exception of a live guide, these available options have certain baggage because of their ‘exotic’ and / or removed nature of their content. Contemporaneously removed in the sense that the time, place and context in which this knowledge is expressed is different than what most people today identify. It is challenging for contemporary seekers to find rapport with stories that stretch out from so many centuries ago. Farmers, fisherman and itinerant wanderers of so years ago no longer exist, but, instead we have flesh and blood people locked into office compartments trying to find meaning in ever increasing existentially vapid circumstances.
Of course, a lot of people enjoy the escapism available when diving into an old tale or revealed text. It is the mark of an evolving spiritually mature person who can ‘escape this escapism’ and effectively procure modern relevant meaning from the Quran, Bhagavad-Gita, or a Zen Koan. All seekers must tread the path that leads from mere stories to living traditions carrying full spiritual import into modern life. It does not matter if it was the curious scent of the incense which drew you into the path, if one found what has not been lost, then what ever form the call came in of itself is not really that important. Staying with the Beloved for the Beloved’s sake is the only right reason to continue.
Staying with the Beloved for the Beloved’s sake under any circumstances leads both to immense troubles as well as to the salve that soothes all illnesses, both real and emotional. Spiritual afflictions arise which can not be imagined until endured, but in the poison lies cure as they say. Sticking with this goal one gradually becomes familiar with all of the attributes that the One can contain, both terrible and beautiful. This staying true is what leads to knowing how to put into real modern action the stories of old told to seekers for hundreds of years. Stories of wandering fools really only make true sense once one has fully digested what it means to be spiritually alive and vulnerable. It does not happen after reading a few books or a retreat or two. The modern frenzy of work-shopping spiritual experiences in the marketplace completely fails here because there is no one way to squeeze these teachings into a marketable product. A truly profound spiritual awakening transcends these limits, it can not be poured into a few hours time like some other cheap offering. It defies the spectacle.
So, when you, the caged bird, knocks on the inside of your cage in the dearest hope of finding out who made this house for you, and you only discover that you know absolutely nothing. Your knocking only reveals your inability to know truly anything. But to cross that space from not being able to interact sensibly with your contemporary surroundings to being able to express true spiritual wisdom one must undoubtedly keep knocking on that door. If you stop knocking on your Beloved’s door, than truly, you will never have an answer of what your purpose is in this modern life, here, now and today.
What does it really mean in a contemporary sense to “knock on the door of the Beloved?” Traditional wisdom refers us back to revealed texts, and the given answer is to establish prayer - real prayer. Whether that is a silent inward meditation or a kind of verbalized expression of devotion depends on one’s needs and personal approach. This topic is very big, as there are many connotations and difficulties that must be addressed before modern, often agnostic, people can accept, process and put true prayer into action. To address this dichotomy, this modern conflict with ancient sensibilities, it is necessary to re-examine what true prayer really is, and to redefine it in an manner that suits modern life.
There are inner and outer aspects to prayer. Outwardly one’s accepted spiritual discipline defines how the prayer might appear from a material point of view. Understandably some people have difficulties in recognizing the need for physical forms of prayer, they would rather just skip all of that and attend directly to the inner life of devotion. The importance in the outer aspect of prayer is that it is an extremely developed language and to not avail yourself of that time tested dialogue means that many people begin by struggling with rudimentary details that the spiritually mature have settled eons ago. Often in the rush to fight to be individuals we ignore the thousands of years of wisdom and work people have done just to go about doing something our own way. Wayfarers starting out often do not realize this and give short shrift to traditional manners of devotion, not understanding until much later the significance of established methods. While this reticence is understandable, it is to be stressed that it is worth while to struggle with these outwards expressions of piety.
With that caveat in place, those who chose one of the Abrahamic spiritual paths as their own often find ways to make the tradition fit into their lives if they have not already been born into that system. Many already have complex thoughts in place from observing others praying in one fashion or another, whether it was a family member, community or a trusted friend. Those whose ventured into other traditions have other dynamics to consider, but it is hoped that many might resonate with the following ideas.
All true prayer seeks to align the outer with the inner experience. At great cost of human lives have the many true wanders ventured out into the wilderness of sincere devotion to bring back the knowledge that only a focused, healthy and sound heart is needed in one’s relation with the Beloved. It is not a mere colloquialism that the heart is king. Without one human existence is less than nothing.
It is this unique nature of the human heart which allows for all the varieties of religious or spiritual experience, it is what makes it possible. Even a superficial study of human activity throughout history will reveal the myriad decisions people made using virtually only their heart. Certainly outside influences rendered each action necessary and individual, but the heart made possible - without it’s insistence millions of people would have endured misery beyond belief. Why did the Israelites set out across the sands of Egypt? Why do explorers roam the seas? Why do scientists endure struggles to find new discoveries? Why did Picasso paint the way he did? Examples are infinite and in every case the heart is the motivator for each person and situation.
The heart is the location where anything of any importance occurs. It is the church, the temple, the mosque, tavern or auditorium where the secret inner language is spoken. Love occurs here. Art is created here.. Hope is found and the Beloved is approached. The inward voice is heard and makes itself known in this location. Anger, frustration, resentment, surprise and ennui come inside the heart, like vassals unto the court of the king to plead their case and get their problems resolved. Secrets are told here and kept until their time is ripe. To let this palace that is the heart fall into disrepair is to lose touch with what make one unique, to discard that which will keep you sane and full of life.
So keep this heart clean and bring all of one’s problems and worries into this place and put them before the King to be judged within one’s very own being. Judging one’s inner faculties must be learned in a mature manner, as it is crucial to know how the personal psychic elements balance against each other. For some people, the conventions of community, family or genetics have predisposed them to not fully trust or hear their heart’s urgings. This important task can not be left undone, as each one of us has to grow to trust our hearts. It is accomplished by cleaning it from the inner voices that claim to be the heart when in fact they are not the whisperings of one’s inner chamber. Rather many of our internal dialogue is our ego, our nafs.
Recognizing the difference between the nafs/ego and the heart is a big step towards having a living heart and becoming whole. One has learn how to differentiate. If this does not happen, then there is no humanity there, only urges and desires. This person is the worst of the worst because everything within, such as the thoughts and feelings, are acting for the sole purpose of superficially pleasing the ego. This is not human, this is robotic behavior; reflexively racing from one desire to another. Note that desires in of themselves are irrelevant, being bound to them is the real problem as this restricts the voice of the heart.
The heart isn’t a true heart if it is pointed in the wrong direction. It must have a goal, a place where it is facing. It must be like a flower in the sun, with its face turned to the One Light that has the only Real Meaning. In Sufi parlance this is known as the Realization and Affirmation of Oneness, or more simply, Tawhid. In so called mystical terms it is understood as the knowledge of the Unity of Being. The heart knows this for real, otherwise it is no real heart at all. We can say this because there is nothing else to attend to, there is ‘no other thing’ at all. So, the heart is facing Unity and knows that as its only experience, the only object that can guide the heart in the truest sense.
Knock on the door of the Beloved by bringing your inner urgings into the kingdom of the heart to weigh on the balance of judgment. Let it bask in the Light of Light so that your inner self is purified of everything but that Light Itself. Only in this way does the wandering seeker find true solace in the wasteland of multiplicity. Stay with the Beloved in this way and wait, and continue to wait at this throne for the promptings of the heart to arise at the breaking of the dawn time Sun upon the ground of the inner being. Only by giving up the endless courtiers of one’s internal dialogue to this heart, this King, will one ever find the true Beloved.
This is the path to resolving outer problems of everyday life: bring the psychic and emotive whisperings into the heart and allow the Light of the One reveal them for their true reality. "You" disappear after you allow these internal elements time to bask in this environment and naturally soften like decomposing vegetation. These resolved dialogues nourish the inner ground by giving the heart and spirit new insight into its relationship to the world at large. This is the nature of true and real prayer and why the heart really is King.