The paradoxical nature of my experience of it is, perhaps, related to my mood, but it really is my response to Mercy that colors my perception and this bothers me a bit. I’d rather get out of the way and experience it purely as it is. But I suspect the first encounter with all phenomena is through the door way of the self — but is this "self" the heart or is it nafs? In this case, I suggest it is my heart that experiences this mood, this confrontation with death enshrouded in Mercy, in Rahman. The sun’s rays are the womb which nurtures my faith, my iman… Birth and death are present right now. The womb and finality of nature delivers it, an echo of remembrance of Allah’s name.
“I have created all for you and I have created you for Myself." The sun and the pull of gravity upon my center is the Mercy (Rahman) of Allah letting me know I exist, I was born and death is present. In a sense, this is enough. I find Allah Ar Rahim — the Infinitely Compassionate One’s presence when I exercise my will through my heart’s yearning acknowledging that all of this is His gift. This is the sweetness of heart, that lightens the courser taste of dunya.